


Alien Invasions and Hot Tubs, Oh My!

by janonny



Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), Marvel
Genre: Alien Invasion, Almost Crack, And I'm mostly ignoring later developments and characterisations, But not more than what we would get in the game, Comedy, Guardians of the Galaxy event, M/M, So there's been many events since, Yeah I started writing this so long ago and I have only finished this now, on the Avengers Academy campus which just means that this is the
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8377375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janonny/pseuds/janonny
Summary: Tony started his day with his usual plan to casually be in the same place as Steve, completely by coincidence of course. But this plan was disrupted by pale-looking strangers in funny headgear skulking around the place and hissing in a garbled tongue at innocent students. What was up with that?(You don’t need to play the Avengers Academy game to read this fic. All you need to know is that many Marvel characters live and study on the Avengers Academy campus, where they often deal with bizarre happenings and villains who try to take over the campus. The game has a lot of training, dancing and hot tubs, as well as random and quirky dialogue.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> A million thanks to the endlessly patient and always diligent [astrofrogged](http://astrofrogged.tumblr.com/) for proofreading for me through fandoms and ships! Any mistakes left are mine. Please feel free to point out any typos so I can correct them! Comments and critique appreciated!

“This isn’t my area of expertise, Sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. protested.

“You’re a learning A.I. I have every confidence that this will be your area of expertise in one week’s time, which is the deadline for this project by the way. Mark the date,” Tony said with a snap of his fingers, waving away the projections he had up in the air.

J.A.R.V.I.S. said, “I do not share the same confidence.”

“It’s alright, I have enough confidence for the two of us.”

“That is unfortunately true, Sir.”

Tony ignored that remark. “I’m heading out, J.A.R.V.I.S. Man the fort, and don’t forget, every spare bit of processing power goes to our special project.”

It was a good day. Tony had spent two hours detailing the requirements for this project and despite J.A.R.V.I.S.’s doubts, Tony was sure setting J.A.R.V.I.S. on this task was a good idea. It was good to finally be making progress on this crucial objective. Tony set a reminder in his gauntlet to check for progress updates tomorrow.

Now, maybe he should go try out some welding at the Asgardian forge. Odin had said something about how there were tricks to be learned about metal manipulation there. That was a totally legitimate reason to go there. It absolutely had nothing to do with the possibility that he might bump into a certain someone testing out his shield against Asgardian tools. Tony was totally just trying to be responsible.

Tony stepped out of Stark Tower onto lush green grass and did a back-cracking stretch before stepping onto the footpath. He strolled through the campus, admiring the shine of his red gauntlets under the sun. He squinted back towards where he came from. Yep, Stark Tower was still the tallest and most aesthetically pleasing building in the whole of the Academy’s campus. Business as usual. Tony continued his stroll to the forge.

Distracted by thoughts of what he would do at the forge, something cool and clever-looking preferably, it took Tony a while to notice that something was off. The campus seemed almost crowded, and Tony shared footpaths with way more people than he was used to. He waved at what was either Jan buzzing around in her Wasp form or a particularly large bee, and almost hit someone with his armored hand. To his surprise, the pale-looking stranger spat out some garbled language at him in response to the near-miss.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Although I don’t know how I didn’t, with the gray skin and that gaudy gold headgear,” Tony said, before looking around. “What is with all the headgear? Is there some sort of costume party going on?”

The strange man backed away, snapping out more incoherent words and something that sounded kind of like “Iron Man”, if Tony’s classy superhero name had been churned through a blender first and poured out as a gloopy mess through a strainer so that what came out was barely identifiable. Tony tried to hide a wince.

“Yes, I’m Iron Man. You want my autograph?” Tony asked helpfully.

Newbies around the campus were usually so embarrassing, but Tony could be a nice, approachable guy once in awhile.

But the stranger didn't seem to appreciate it. Instead, he spat out what might have been a curse and hightailed it out of there, with Tony staring, mouth slightly agape. What in Einstein’s name was going on here? 

Tony made his way to the forge without encountering anyone he knew, growing increasingly befuddled at the number of strangers stalking around the place. To make matters worse, no one was at the forge. Not that Tony was explicitly seeking out a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed superhero, but he had thought that he had gotten his schedule just right, damnit. Now he had to work it out all over again. He would get J.A.R.V.I.S. to spend more processing power on that as well.

After a few minutes of desultory hammering that resulted in him turning his latest project into a metal pancake instead of an arm brace that he had totally intended to incorporate into his armor, not give away to anyone in particular, Tony gave up his stint in the forge and decided to head back to the dorms to see if he could find some better company than his own.

He was just walking by the Timeless Archives when he heard someone whisper his name.

“Tony,” the voice whispered again.

It was weird. It was like the voice came from… below. Tony froze. He wasn’t being haunted from the great beyond, was he? Not that he necessarily believed in the great beyond. 

“Tony, over _here_.”

The voice sounded strangely like… Natasha?

He turned around and looked down.

Five feet away from him, with a piece of concrete slab moved aside, Natasha was leaning out of a square hole in the foot path.

Tony pointed and opened his mouth. And shut it again.

Natasha ignored his reaction. “Have you found out anything about the aliens?”

“Is that really a secret passage?” Tony asked in return,

“Ugh, we have no time for this. Find out more about the aliens and we’ll meet up at the dorms,” Natasha said, before slipping back into the hole in the ground and pulling the concrete slab over it.

It slipped into place seamlessly and if Tony hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he would have never believed that it was a doorway to a secret passage. Wow, his day was just getting stranger and stranger.

By the time Tony had made it back to the dorms, he felt like he had been hit over the head. Falcon had swooped by him, not stopping to talk, and Jan had flit by with a whispered, “See you at the dorms!” in his ear.  And there were all these pale-looking maybe-aliens or some sort of wraiths wandering around, mostly giving him a wide berth. One had even hissed at him from the decorative bushes when he walked by. _Hissed_ at him. What had he done to deserve hissing?

Tony stomped into the dorms, ready to complain to any willing ear when he saw that the place was packed to the brim with the Academy students. And Fury. Oh shit. This was serious.

Fury looked over everyone and caught Tony’s eye. “Good to see you finally join us. What have you been able to find out about the aliens?”

Tony wondered if he could make something up, but decided to just brazen it out. “I haven’t found anything.”

Fury’s eye narrowed. “Nothing at all.”

“Yep. Not a thing,” Tony said with a shrug. “Mainly because I haven’t been looking. I had no idea I was supposed to be looking for anything. Have we been invaded by aliens?”

Fury looked, well, furious. “I sent you a message!”

In the back of his mind, on a dusty shelf in a dusty corner, Tony vaguely recalled some message that he had tuned out and asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to delete halfway through because he was in the middle of his new project.

“I haven’t heard it,” Tony said.

“Someone get this idiot up to speed,” Fury snapped.

Which is how Tony found out about Ronan, the chitauri, and all of them landing on the edge of the Academy’s campus.

How did he miss a giant head practically on their doorstep? He must have been too engrossed in his latest, uh, project.

“So let me get this straight,” Tony said slowly. “Some super powerful guy named Ronan crash-landed right outside our campus and he brought a bunch of aliens with him called chitauri. They managed to get in our campus and are prowling around everywhere. We can’t fight them because they’re too strong, and a few pods on life support have also crash-landed here which Ronan was trying to get to, which means naturally we got to them first and swooped them up for safekeeping. And you decided to leave me a _voicemail_ about this?”

Fury glared. “You weren’t picking up and a voicemail would have worked fine if you listened to your damn messages.”

“We also sent out someone to look for you just in case,” Maria said.

Before Tony could reply, the doors to the dormitory swept open again and Steve rushed through.

“I’ve looked all over the campus, including in the buildings. I haven’t been able to find him. Do you think the aliens took him?”

“We should be so lucky,” Maria said, rolling her eyes.

Tony turned and gave Steve an awkward wave. He then promptly pulled his hand down and held it behind his back, because _why did he do that_? Why was he waving like a dork at Steve who was only standing a couple feet away?

“Steve, hi. I mean, I didn’t get Fury’s message, so I was just going about my day like normal. You must have missed me. I was just at the forge, doing metal melding work, you know, because Odin said it would be helpful,” Tony said, trying to seem cool and casual about it all. 

Steve looked visibly relieved. “Right, it’s Monday, I should have checked the forge first.”

Wait, did that mean Steve knew Tony’s schedule well enough to remember he was often at the forge on Mondays? Or did that mean that Steve noticed Tony semi-casually following him around? Not that Tony was actually following Steve around campus. They were just sometimes in the same vicinity doing similar things. That’s to be expected, because they were superheroes in training. It was totally normal.

“So what are we going to do now?” Jan asked from where she was perched on Sam’s shoulder, her voice amplifying through the tiny loudspeaker she was holding.

“I’m going to do what I do best,” Tony announced. “I’m going to build some armor.”

Steve frowned. “You can’t go up against them on your own, Tony.”

Was that a sign that Steve didn’t think Tony could take on the aliens? Obviously Tony was going to have to show Steve how strong he really was so that Steve would respect him, like him, maybe consider going out…

Anyway. Yeah, he was going to really impress Steve this time.

“I know you’re not sure if I can handle this,” Tony said.

Steve’s blue eyes widened. “I don’t think that at all.”

Tony continued blithely, “It’s understandable, you haven’t seen me react against a threat so large.”

“Tony…” Steve tried to interject.

“I think you need to let me lead the charge this time. I’ll have this settled, don’t worry,” Tony insisted with a bright grin.

“That’s not what I’m worried about at all,” Steve said, but Tony was busy processing what he needed to do to create a suit that could stand up against aliens and be space-worthy too.

Fury said, “What we need is for you to research and find out their weakness, not hare off on some crazy scheme.”

“You can rely on me,” Tony said, giving Fury a thumbs-up.

Sam sighed. “I don’t think he’s listening to anyone anymore.”

Tony flashed everyone a grin and strode out of the dorms.

# # # # # #

So first, Tony built himself a swanky suit with a snazzy futuristic design so that everyone knew this was a new armor that was specifically for going up against the new threat. He hoped it looked futuristic enough. He tried to ask Jan for design tips, but she kept wanting to redesign everything, and he didn’t have time for that.

“What do you think?” Tony asked, lifting off the ground with his repulsors and turning in a circle to display his new armor from all angles.

Natasha crossed her arms. “I’m not here to talk about your armor design. Have you scanned these aliens for weaknesses?”

It was a good thing that Tony was so efficient and could multitask. He dropped to the ground and waved a hand in the air, which J.A.R.V.I.S. understood from past experience. An image of a creepy hissing chitauri was displayed as a 3D hologram in the middle of the room.

“They’re all wearing some kind of personal force field. I’m sure I can disrupt them, but it’ll take time. Until then, none of us will be able to hurt them,” Tony said.

Natasha didn’t look mollified by the news. “Okay, you work on finding a way to disrupt the personal force field. In the meantime, I’ll find out what made a giant decapitated robot head fall from outer space and smash my favorite tree.”

Tony didn’t know Natasha had a favorite tree, but now that he knew her favorite tree had been inadvertently destroyed by the aliens, he knew the chitauri didn’t stand a chance against the Avengers Academy.

Natasha turned to leave just as Steve was coming through the door.

Tony called out to her, “Wait. Tell everyone that we need to find as many energy crystals as we can. They’re purple and shiny and probably crashed with the alien ship. You can’t miss it.”

Steve asked, “What are they for?”

“We can use the power in the crystals to build stuff to help us fight back. I’ve just done some measurements on them, and each crystal stores a surprising amount of energy that matches the force fields used by the aliens. I think I know how to extract the energy so they should be useful against the force fields. And something tells me that we definitely don’t want that alien who calls himself Ronan to get a hold of them.”

“I’ll pass on the word,” Natasha said.

Steve came further into the room and smiled at Tony. “I have your back, Tony.”

Tony tried to tamp down his grin, but it was hard. “Uh, I mean, that sounds good, my back needs having, um. Thanks. Yeah.”

For some reason, that caused Natasha to roll her eyes before she left, but Tony didn’t have the time to think about the reason why, because Steve was standing right there, watching him.

“That’s a nice new suit,” Steve said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh yeah, it’s space-worthy too, because I think the aliens have another ship out there and I want to check it out.”

“That’s a good idea. Just make sure you don’t get spotted,” Steve cautioned.

“Of course. I have stealth mode installed on this thing,” Tony said, bragging.

They lapsed into momentary silence, just standing there and staring at each other.

Tony said, suddenly awkward, “Hey, did you need something? Were you here for a chem tutoring? I know I promised you I could help you with that right before this whole alien invasion started and you must be keen to get started, huh?”

Steve smiled, all pearly white teeth and classical good looks. “A chemistry lesson sounds like a good way to start off an alien invasion, doesn’t it?”

He sounded perfectly sincere, but when Tony squinted at him, he thought he saw laughter in those clear blue eyes. While Tony had fallen for it in the beginning, he had seen it enough now to recognize it for what it really was.

“You’re trolling me, aren’t you?” Tony demanded.

“Would I do such thing?” Steve said, grin never faltering.

Tony just kept staring at him suspiciously. Steve chuckled. 

“Hey, why don’t we take your new suit for a spin instead?” Steve suggested. “I know you’re short on time with the amount of things you need to do to counter the alien attacks. You could use this as stress relief flying combined with a test flight.”

Tony’s eyes widened, surprised by the suggestion and that Steve knew about Tony’s stress relief flying. “You want to go flying? With me?”

“That’s why I suggested it,” Steve said mildly.

Tony blinked and asked, “But… chemistry?”

He didn’t know why he was fixated on chemistry. Yes, he had offered to tutor Steve in chemistry in hopes of getting closer to him. But Steve was asking to go flying with him! Steve would have to hold on tight, and Tony would have to grip him around the waist, maybe the shoulders. How much closer could you get without stripping down? Tony needed to get a hold on himself.

“It’s a tough choice, but I think chemistry can wait until after the alien invasion is over,” Steve said solemnly. “Now let’s go flying.”

Tony grinned and snapped his helmet shut. Without another word, he lifted into the air and swooped down to snatch up Steve. The roof of Stark Tower opened up obligingly, having been installed for this very reason, and Tony flew out with Steve clutched to him. Steve let out a loud whoop of joy.

They flew for almost an hour. Steve was the perfect flying companion. He was always up for Tony going faster and higher. He made sarcastic comments in that deadpan but faux-earnest manner of his as they flew over the campus, comments like, “Oh, that’s Fury. I’m sure he’s not doing anything suspicious at all.”

Flying together seemed so natural. Tony had one arm around Steve’s waist, and Steve wrapped one arm tightly around Tony’s waist in return, with the other arm gripping Tony’s chest plate lightly. Tony couldn't really feel Steve pressed up against his side through the Iron Man suit, so it shouldn't have felt so intimate. But the feedback from his armor made it so he could almost feel Steve’s waist under his hand through the pressure sensors on his gauntlet, feel his warmth from the temperature read outs on his HUD. And all he needed to do was turn his head slightly to see up-close and personal Steve’s face lit up with exhilaration.  If he opened his helmet now, he would be inches away from Steve’s face, and his lips…

Right, getting hard in his suit was a very uncomfortable experience.

They only headed back to Stark tower when Pepper did a flyby in her Rescue suit and told him that Fury and Natasha were looking for an update on the alien situation. Tony was totally onto Pepper. She could have contacted him through J.A.R.V.I.S. but she chose to suit up instead. She was totally joyriding, too.

Regardless, the time for fun and games were coming to an end. Tony did have to try to solve this alien issue after all.

Tony lowered them both slowly to the floor at Stark Tower, gradually cutting off power to the repulsors in his boots. When their feet were on the ground again, Tony found to his surprise that, though Tony removed his arm right away, Steve hadn’t stepped away immediately. He was still in hugging range.

“That was great, Tony. Thanks for taking me along,” Steve said with a smile.

Tony joked as he slid up his helmet’s visor, “Is that sincere or are you trolling me again?”

Steve smiled and gripped Tony’s gauntleted hand. “I mean it.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, and Tony was struck again by how blue and clear Steve’s eyes were, and how close they were standing, close enough to almost kiss if one of them just leaned forward a little bit more…

Tony stepped back, embarrassed by his own thoughts and wondering if it had been obviously displayed on his face. He wasn’t ready yet. He didn’t have a proper plan yet for wooing Steve, and he couldn’t afford to get it wrong. Steve was smoothing down his shirt, his cheeks a little red, probably from the flight and the wind.

“Now that I know the suit is flight-worthy, I should probably do that recon I was talking about earlier, check out their mothership up in space,” Tony said quickly, plotting a flight path through the holographic console.

Steve asked, “How long do you think it will take?”

Tony shrugged. “Maybe two hours?”

“Alright. I’ll wait for you here then,” Steve said.

Tony looked up in surprise. “You will? I mean, I’m okay, it’s just recon. I won’t engage them.”

Steve nodded. “I know. But as I said earlier, Tony, I have your back. I’ll wait for you to get back, just in case you need any help from the ground.”

While Tony usually chafed at needing help, he only felt touched this time. Maybe it was Steve’s sincerity or that earnest smile of his…

Tony looked back at his holographic interface and replied, trying to sound nonchalant, “Okay, that’s fine by me.”

He peeked at Steve through the window’s reflection. That beautiful smile had not waned one bit.

# # # # # #

It took Tony a little less than two hours to collect the information and samples that he needed. When he returned to Stark Tower, he stayed on the landing pad outside the building and pulled up the examination pedestal from the floor. The pedestal was hexagonal shaped and was three feet high once it was fully emerged from the floor. It had been built with automatic shielding and short distance teleportation capabilities. He had installed it on the landing pad after making his latest suit, as a secure and shielded area where he could examine samples, without taking them directly into his tower. Steve had been monitoring Tony’s flight into space from inside the tower, where J.A.R.V.I.S. could project a three-dimensional recording of Tony’s flight, complete with video capture from the Intergalactic Iron Man suit. J.A.R.V.I.S. must have informed him of Tony's return, because Steve came out to greet him before Tony could lay down the samples on the pedestal for examination.

“How did it go?”

Tony placed his armload of things on the examination table. “There’s definitely a mothership up in space, and that’s where the chitauri are coming from. I can see the chitauri returning with the energy crystals they found too, so we need to beat them in that game. I also found some debris and this weird pink blob which I think should be examined.”

Steve eyed the things Tony had placed on the table. “Are you sure they’re safe?”

“Not at all, which is why I don’t recommend you come any closer. I should be able to contain and store them once they’re examined,” Tony explained.

He used the control keypad in his gauntlet to carry out the examination of the alien artefacts remotely, and had just gotten J.A.R.V.I.S. to transport one of the pieces of debris into safe storage after identifying it as some organic material used as part of the mothership, when the pink blob he had brought back started to move.

“Um,” Steve said.

The pink blob turned its head towards Tony, or at least what Tony thought was its head.  There was no face, just a brighter pink section at one end of the fat cylindrical blob with what could be a little antenna on the side. Then, it started to inch closer, in the way slugs moved. Except fast. Too fast. Tony panicked and tried to activate the transportation device, jabbing his keypad over and over again as he kept getting an error message when he plugged in the wrong teleportation code. The pink blob moved ever closer and was reaching the edge of the examination pedestal now. It lifted up and reached out from the pedestal…

“Uh,” Steve said again.

Then Tony managed to key in the right code, and the bright pink blob was teleported away in a swirl of blue transporter beams.

Steve came up to Tony and pulled him back from the pedestal. “What on earth was that?”

Tony let himself be pulled to Steve’s side, welcoming the sturdy comfort. “Um, I thought it was just an interesting alien pink balloon and that Jan might like it as a fashion accessory. But, uh, turns out it’s alive. Yay, aliens?”

Steve turned him around. “You brought back an alien slug?”

“Maybe?” Tony said, eyes wide. “The scans are inconclusive. It could just be some alien organic material that reacts to light or stimuli?”

“You should probably find a way to check if it’s alive and if it’s sentient,” Steve said, looking worried.

“That’s… a really good point. I’ll get J.A.R.V.I.S. on it,” Tony said. “We’ll get this sorted one way or the other.”

Steve smiled. “I know you will.”

Tony’s heart thumped hard in his chest, and he didn’t think he could blame it all on unexpectedly mobile alien slugs.

# # # # # #

Despite Steve’s confidence in him, Tony didn’t feel like he had things handled. It was easy to put up a good front and tell everyone that he was taking the lead on this, that he had things sorted. But execution was a different matter.

He had gone up against a couple chitauri and they were surprisingly hard to defeat, even with the power disruptors he had managed to build to breakdown their personal force fields. Their defensive field might be gone, but their weapons were still surprisingly powerful. Everyone on campus was using his power disruptors, but they were also training hard now that they realized that they were still potentially outclassed.

It just felt like there should be more that Tony could do.

“It’s lonely at the top, Pinkie,” Tony said.

Pinkie made a chirruping sad sound, curling closer around his arm.

“Where is the sound coming from?” Tony wondered aloud.

J.A.R.V.I.S. said from the speakers set into the roof of Stark Tower, “The alien creature generates the sound by pushing its internal liquids at high velocity through varying thin pipes located one-fifth of the way from its anterior side.”

“You know what, I think I didn’t actually want to know that,” Tony said.

“And it’s lonely at the top because you are currently sitting alone with an alien creature in your lap on top of Stark Tower. If you were to descend to ground level, there are many other students who would be willing to keep you company,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said.

Tony rolled his eyes. “You’ve just ruined a perfectly good broody moment. Don’t you know all good leaders have to brood and angst at least once in the middle of their quest?”

J.A.R.V.I.S. responded in the most deadpan manner possible, “I was not privy to this information and can find no reference to brooding in the SHIELD database. I will add this nuance to my own database for future reference.”

“Ugh, too late now,” Tony said. “Brooding session is over. Now to rejuvenate with a soak in the hot tub!”

“Yes, that sounds like suitably leader-like activities,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said.

“Yeah, I know. I have this leadership thing nailed,” Tony said as he gathered up Pinkie.

Pinkie was a nice cool temperature and surprisingly not slimy at all. It was also very friendly, rubbing up against Tony and purring like a particularly cylindrical cat. Tony cuddled it to his chest and was rewarded with headbutts to his chin. He assumed that was the alien creature’s head butting against his chin anyway. He would rather not consider the alternatives.

Tony fired up his boots’ repulsors and flew over to the covered dome at the back of the tower. The dome slid open to reveal the hot tub, already bubbling with heated water.

“You’re the best, J.A.R.V.I.S.,” Tony said with a grin.

“I live to serve,” said J.A.R.V.I.S., managing to sound fond and exasperated at the same time.

# # # # # #

“Is there a reason why you’re sitting in your armor in your hot tub?” Steve asked in amusement, hands on his hips.

And what amazing hips those were. Tony could not move his eyes away from Steve’s bared chest and tapered waist, those sharp muscles cutting from the waist, down the hips, arrowing under the red, white, and blue shorts. To only follow the direction of those muscles… The shorts, combined with how Steve was standing at the edge of the hot tub, suggested that he was preparing to come in for a soak. Tony was smart, he could put these things together. Now if only he could muster enough brain cells to actually speak, after being treated to a sight like this.

“Tony?” Steve repeated, looking a little worried.

Any moment now, Tony would stop staring at Steve’s nipples. Any. Moment.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked as he stepped back, as if to head back downstairs to get help.

Tony’s tongue finally came unstuck from the roof of his mouth. “Yes! I’m fine, more than fine. Did you, uh, is this about the chemistry tutorial?”

Tony was ready to sink under the water and drown himself. Steve was wearing swim shorts and was shirtless, oh boy, was he shirtless. Very shirtless. And Tony had already mentally established that he was likely here for a soak in the hot tub. Why was Tony’s mouth so stuck on chemistry? And not chemistry of the fun variety that involved beds and nudity either. Okay, what was his brain even going on about now?

Steve was noticeably trying not to laugh. “That sounds just swell, Tony. I’m definitely here to study chemistry, not do anything fun or interesting at the Stark Tower.”

Tony shook his head at himself and chuckled. “Alright, fine, put that dry humor away. The hot tub is only for getting wet, it can’t handle that much dryness. I’ve no idea why I said that about chemistry. It’s great in here by the way.  Are you coming in for a soak? The water temperature is perfect and the bubbles are magnificent.”

Steve paused, tilting his head at Tony. “Yeah, I’m here to try out your hot tub. I’m feeling a little sore after all the fighting we’ve been doing. But, Tony, I was actually asking why are you wearing your armor while you’re soaking in the hot tub?”

Tony blinked. “Oh, right.”

He flipped the visor on his helmet up, realizing how ridiculous he must look to Steve, visible only as an Iron Man helmet above the water line. Meanwhile, he was sitting here ogling Steve. He was such a dork. Why would Steve even be interested? On one hand, he must have looked like a creepy weirdo who had some sort of Iron Man armor plus hot tub fetish. On the other hand, at least Steve hadn’t been able to see Tony drooling over his bare chest. _On a third hand_ , why was he thinking about hands when he had the amazing sight of a shirtless Steve right in front of him, now viewed without the barrier of the Iron Man helmet and HUD? It was an even more astonishing sight, if that could be believed. Those shoulders were out of this world, and Tony would know about that, since he just flew back from out there.

“I was having a soak when I had an idea, so I put the helmet on to run some numbers using the Iron Man interface. I’m not wearing the full suit here,” Tony explained, waving a bare hand above the water line, splashing the water a little.

Realizing there was no reason to continue wearing the helmet, Tony whipped it off and set it by the hot tub.

“You’re mixing work with pleasure,” Steve said as he stepped into the hot tub without any further ado.

Tony almost choked on his tongue as Steve waded over to settle next to him. “Yes. Pleasure. Lots. Because, um, my hot tub is the best.”

Steve tipped his head back against the side of the tub, sighing in enjoyment. Tony just could not take his eyes off that bobbing Adam’s apple, the droplets of water sliding down his bared throat to the dip formed by his clavicle.

“How are you doing with leading the charge against Ronan?” Steve asked quietly, opening his eyes to look at Tony.

The words broke his reverie with enough suddenness that Tony jerked a little, causing a little ripple in the water. Tony tried to play it off with a shrug.

“It’s okay. With all the power disruptors and my little inventions built from the energy crystals, we’re starting to make a dent in the chitauri forces,” Tony said.

Steve nodded. “I’ve been seeing less of them around the campus. You’re doing a good job.”

“Really?” Tony coughed to hide his surprise. “I mean, obviously.”

“Yes, obviously,” Steve said, sounding amused for some reason. Tony had no idea why Steve was smiling, but he found himself smiling in return, staring into those blue eyes for a moment.

Finally, Tony looked down and trailed his hands over the water, feeling a rare moment of total honesty. “It does feel like I could be doing more.”

Steve asked, “In what way?”

“I don’t know, to be honest,” Tony said with a sigh. “It just feels like fighting the chitauri troops isn’t getting to the source of the problem. We need to weed out the real root cause and deal with it, but I’m not even sure if we’re strong enough for that kind of confrontation.”

“The root cause being Ronan.”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

After a short pause, Steve chuckled. “You really are an engineer to the core. You’re looking at the situation and wanting to fix the part that’s really broken, not just the symptoms to the problem. You’re right, we have to deal with Ronan. But we’re making good progress for the moment. I think you’ll have a plan by the time we have to deal with Ronan. Don’t be so hard on yourself just because you haven’t solved everything immediately.”

“You’re doing that thing again where I can’t tell if you’re trolling me or being serious,” Tony said with a huff.

Steve reached out a hand and gripped Tony’s shoulder. “I’m being serious, trust me.”

And this, here, was why Tony liked Steve. Really liked him. He was honestly good and principled in a way that Tony should totally hate, maybe had hated a little at the start. If he was just good and a hard ass, bland with no hidden depth, then Tony would have probably continued ignoring him and forgotten about him. Instead, Steve was good, sincere and inspiring, but also funny and could troll the best of them. For all that he was obsessed with training and dancing the Charleston, he was also an adrenaline junkie and took delight in suggesting the craziest activities with an earnest smile. Steve knew the sort of reputation his Captain America title came with, the type of preconceptions people had about him, and he had no compunction in using that reputation to get what he wanted while smiling that perfect apple-pie-and-warm-summer-days smile. Yet he was also sincerely earnest with his friends and dependable when they needed him.

It was hard not to fall for someone like that.

And now Tony was waxing poetic about Steve while Steve was sitting next to him in nothing but swimming trunks. The world must truly be going mad.

Steve turned, eyes surprisingly wide, and Tony had a brief fearful moment that he had been caught staring. Then Steve said, “Tony, that’s not your foot touching me, is it?”

Tony did a mental check, just to be sure his foot hadn’t decided to participate in unauthorized footsie while Tony was distracted. Nope, all limbs accounted for and none of them touching Steve. Shame.

“Uh, no.”

“Then there’s something else in here,” Steve said, pulling his legs in sharply under water.

Tony realized what it was, but before he could say anything, something cylindrical and bright pink broke the bubbling surface of the water and gave a loud thrill. Pinkie squirted water at them in delight.

Steve wiped water off his face. “Tony, I think that alien got free.”

Oh boy. At Tony’s silence, Steve turned again, eyebrows furrowing. “Tony…”

“I can explain?” Tony said, with a hapless shrug.

# # # # # #

To Tony’s dismay, there wasn’t much time for shenanigans in hot tubs – with Steve _or_ Pinkie – once they started engaging in fights with the chitauri in earnest. They were embroiled in constant training and fighting, accompanied by strategy and planning sessions, as they tried to keep ahead of the chitauri who seemed to constantly be growing in strength.

Things seemed to move faster than ever once they managed to safely open the life pods and free a bunch of dweebs who called themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy. Tony was very sceptical about it all, because who died and elected them guardians of the _galaxy_? Tony was part of this galaxy and he didn’t remember sending in his vote. Although he should probably check with J.A.R.V.I.S. just to be sure.

Then he met one of the guys from the pod, Peter Quill aka Star-Lord. First of all, Star-Lord was a pretty cool name. Why didn’t Tony think of that? He could have been _Iron Lord_. Damnit. Wait, all he had to do was make a new suit with fancy emblems on it, maybe carrying a sceptre or whatever it was Lords carried, and call the new suit an Iron Lord suit. Genius. He still had it. Second most important thing about Peter was that the first time he met Tony, he immediately asked Tony to build him an intergalactic-themed club. That guy had his priorities straight. The newbies couldn’t be too bad after all. So Tony fought the chitauri with them, just to assess their skills.

“Oh my god, I can’t describe how amazing she is,” Tony was saying, hands waving around in meaningless arcs.

Steve said, “I think I got that the first three times you said it.”

Tony eyed Steve for a moment because he sounded strangely terse and looked unhappy, complete with his arms crossed over his impressive chest and–

Tony continued rambling quickly before his brain could go places it shouldn’t, “She doesn’t wear any body armor, and she took down _three_ chitauri with one swing of her humongous sword. It was insane!”

“I took down three with one throw of my shield,” grumbled Steve.

But Tony waved his hand, because Steve was _Steve_ , of course he could take down three chitauri with one throw of his physics-defying shield. But Gamora was new and she packed an incredible amount of strength and agility in her slender frame. Tony wondered what he had to do to get Gamora and Steve to spar. Totally for science. It had nothing to do with seeing two hot people duke it out.

“I told Gamora about the hot tub and the cheese fridge so she might come over later,” Tony said, a little distracted with the less than innocent fantasy. Maybe Steve and Gamora could both join him in his hot tub. But then, Gamora was very pretty, with a couldn’t-care-less attitude and she took no shit from anyone. That sounded too much like Steve’s type. And Steve was very naïve, he would probably be very easily taken in by alien wiles and who knew how long Gamora would be staying here, she would leave Steve all heartbroken, that sounded like a very bad idea, why did he invite Gamora over again?

“Maybe you should concentrate on the alien invasion instead of whatever you’re thinking about right now. I think your hot tub and cheese fridge can wait,” Steve said, abruptly getting up from Tony’s comfortable couch.

Now Tony was bewildered. “I just got back from fighting chitauri, it’s my off-shift to rest up.”

Nat had come up with the idea when Pepper had pointed out that they couldn’t just keep fighting non-stop for weeks on end. They took eight hour shifts fighting the chitauri, with time to rest and recover. Pepper and Nat had come up with a _schedule_. It was colour-coded and everything which was just crazy.

Steve said, “Fine. You rest up with Gamora then.”

Pinkie had been draped over Steve’s shoulder, which left Tony endlessly jealous because he wanted to be draped over those amazing shoulders too. Steve really let Pinkie get away with anything, just because it was a cute fat alien creature. But this time, Steve picked Pinkie up and pushed it into Tony’s lap before leaving in what looked like an angry march. Tony’s first instincts were to go after Steve to find out what was wrong, but Gamora could be coming over at any minute now and it probably would be better if Steve wasn’t around then. Why introduce Steve to even more hot people who were super strong and liked doing dangerous things as a hobby?  Avengers Academy was already dangerously packed with people like that.

Still, Tony did feel a little mixed up about pissing off Steve somehow. Tony had narrowly escaped an argument with Steve the other day, over the dangers of releasing an alien from safe storage and adopting it as a pet without knowing very much about it. Steve had looked disapproving, but in the end, he had been won over by Pinkie rolling around, being generally harmless and cute. But now, Steve was angry at Tony again, and Tony didn’t know why. He sighed, picked Pinkie up and squeezed it to his chest until it squeaked shrilly.

Gamora did turn up to visit his cheese fridge. She wanted to know what cheese was like on Earth, so Tony had left her eating expensive cheese on equally expensive crackers. Even her chewing was intimidating, but Tony didn't really feel like hanging out any more. Instead Tony found himself lurking around the Avengers’ dorms, playing with a gadget he had made to hopefully boost the energy output in Quill’s gun. He should be resting up, maybe catching some shut-eye, but he was still feeling restless from Steve’s unexpected departure. Why was he so mad? It made no sense at all.

A shadow fell over the gadget Tony was twisting around over and over again. Tony looked up to bitch at whoever was standing close enough to block his light, and then exclaimed in surprise, “Steve! You’re here! I mean, obviously you’re here, but I didn’t expect you to turn up here. I mean, hi.”

Steve stuck his hands in his pockets, looking a little uncomfortable for some reason. “Hi, Tony. Jan said she saw you here and I should get you to rest up before your off-shift was done.”

“Oh,” Tony said, feeling a little disappointed that Steve wasn’t here under his own steam. But what did Tony expect? Steve was angry about something after all, whatever that was. “I’m alright, I took a nap earlier.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, and then looked away. “Wasn’t Gamora going over to check out your cheese fridge?”

Tony frowned and said, “Yeah, and my hot tub too. Why?”

Did Steve want to eat cheese with Gamora? On an abstract level, Tony realized his thoughts were starting to meander down unexpected paths, probably due to exhaustion, but he couldn’t shake the suspicion that Steve was interested in Gamora. There was a reason that idea wasn’t quite logical, but Tony couldn’t conjure up quite what that was so he only remained suspicious while he eyed Steve.

“You were in the hot tub with Gamora?” Steve asked, looking stricken, if Tony was judging correctly. But Tony was exhausted and not thinking straight, so he probably wasn’t. Why would Steve be stricken? Wait, was Steve jealous of Tony because he wanted to be in the hot tub with Gamora?? It was Tony’s hot tub, how dare Gamora use it to seduce Steve!

“No, I left when she was eating, but I gave her access to the hot tub when she finished. I thought she would appreciate being able to relax in between fights. J.A.R.V.I.S. told me she’s just gotten into the hot tub,” Tony said, tapping the side of his ear to indicate that he was wearing his communications unit.

“Oh,” Steve said, looking a little surprised.

Tony twisted idly at his spinning gadget as Steve stared at him, seeming to search for something in Tony’s expression. Tony hoped he wasn’t drooling under Steve’s scrutiny. He was feeling really tired.

Whatever it was that Steve saw, it made his face soften, eyes bright in a way that warmed Tony.

“Why don’t you take another nap, Tony? You look exhausted,” Steve said.

Tony looked down at his little red and gold gadget. “Hmmmmmm, sleep… but the Stark tower is so far away…”

“It’s just next door,” Steve pointed out.

“So far, very far away,” Tony repeated for emphasis. “I have to get up and walk so far.”

With a chuckle, Steve reached out and took the little gadget out of Tony’s hands. He dropped it into his pocket as he reached out his other hand to grab Tony by the waist. He practically lifted Tony out of the chair, helping him to stand. The room spun, and Tony wasn’t sure if it was due to the sudden rush of blood from his head or the sheer hotness from being lifted straight out of the chair by Steve like he weighed nothing. The end result was the same either way. He ended up clutching Steve’s left shoulder just to stay standing. And Steve was really such a nice guy, because instead of freaking out, Steve just drew him closer so that he could hold Tony up by the waist while Tony hung off one shoulder like an uncoordinated but attractive sloth.

“Why don’t you nap in my room then? That’s nearer right?” Steve offered.

Tony leaned heavily against Steve’s steady frame. Sleep in Steve’s bed, surrounded by Steve’s scent, huddling under Steve’s blankets. This had to be a dream. A really, really good dream.

He should feel like a pervert but all he could feel was tired yet euphoric at the idea. Tony must have mumbled his assent in some way, because soon after, Tony was being half-carried, half-dragged back to Steve’s room in the dorms. Tony didn’t remember much of the trip, except that not long after that, he found himself curled up on clean sheets and under a soft blanket, feeling warm and safe. He never found out if the fingers running through his hair were just a product of his exhausted mind. Or if someone really had been stroking his hair as he fell asleep.

# # # # # #

When Tony woke up to a trilling chirp, he was a little confused about where he was. Clean pale blue walls, white ceiling, a bed that was much too small and hard to be his own luxurious king size bed back at the tower. Looking around blearily, it took Tony awhile to register the familiar blue jacket hanging from a hanger behind the door.

Steve.

He was in Steve’s room.

Tony’s heart immediately sped up. Did something happen? Did Tony somehow manage to convince Steve to hook up? Tony’s cheeks were flushed and he wanted to squirm at the idea. But he couldn’t remember anything of that sort, why? How could something so momentous happen without him retaining any memory of it? Tony buried his face in Steve’s pillow, stifling the urge to scream in frustration. All he got was a strong dose of a clean but masculine scent, faintly musky. This was what Steve smelled like. Oh hell, Tony was such a pervert.

Then Tony’s memories started filtering in through the squirming frustration that was mixed in with delight that Tony was in Steve’s bed, holy wow.

The memories were far less exciting than his initial presumptions.

He had made a real fool of himself. His only excuse was that he had been overtired, but he should have enough self-control not to ramble and hang off Steve like a human limpet. Then he had slept in Steve’s bed, because Steve was kind and probably took pity on him, while the man himself couldn't have slept all that well if he had taken the desk chair for the night or slept in the dorm’s lounge. The bed was way too small to fit the two of them after all. The fact that Steve wasn’t in his own room at that moment didn’t bode well for things. He was probably irritated by how Tony handled himself yesterday. How was Tony going to be able to look him in the eye again? 

Tony pulled the blanket over his head and muffled a groan into it. Okay, it smelled spine-tinglingly good, but Tony was too depressed to even properly enjoy it.

Then his watch trilled.

Suddenly, Tony remembered what had woken him up earlier. It was his watch that was synced up to his gauntlet. Was someone trying to reach him? Why didn’t Vision patch them through right away to his communicator?

Untangling himself from the sheets, Tony pulled his hand free and stared at his watch.

He had overslept. Oh shit, it was past their pow wow to discuss strategies on how to take on Ronan, before Tony had to start his next eight hour shift to battle chitauri! He was late!  Everyone would be waiting for him, and he was going to throw off the carefully planned schedule.

Tony rolled out of bed unceremoniously, legs still tangled in the blankets. It took a few minutes to squirm free before he dumped all the blankets back onto the bed. Then he grabbed his jacket from where it hung over the back of a desk chair. He stuffed his feet into his shoes, and the laces on them tightened automatically. Tony was shrugging on his jacket while opening the door, so he almost fell over in surprise when he came face-to-face with Steve, who looked at Tony’s strange contortion with raised eyebrows. Tony spun in a circle, trying to stuff his arm into his jacket’s sleeve with little success as he started to get more frantic from embarrassment.

A steadying hand landed on his shoulder to stop his frustrated motions. Steve adjusted his jacket, straightening it out and angling it better so that Tony could slip his arm into the sleeve without any more dramatics. There were no derisive comments and Steve’s hands were warm and gentle, but it didn’t stop Tony’s face from reddening. Tony zipped up his jacket, trying to feign nonchalance, as if it was an everyday affair to have Steve help him into his jacket.

“So, uh, sorry I was so out of it last night. Thanks for taking care, I mean, for making sure I didn’t sleep in the lounge, but it’s okay you know. For next time. Those couches are comfortable. I would know, I bought them so that Jan would stop complaining about the springs in the old one,” Tony said, even as he was mentally telling himself to shut up and stop trying to talk Steve out of letting Tony back into his bed.

Steve touched Tony’s elbow which shut him up immediately. That was strange. It wasn’t like Tony had an off switch in his elbow. But nonetheless, Tony felt like his tongue was glued to the top of his mouth with the solidity of Steve’s hand against his elbow.

“Don’t worry about it, Tony. I’m used to sharing tight quarters,” Steve said.

Tony’s eyes snapped to him. “Sharing tight quarters?”

They shared a bed? Tony didn’t just take over the bed, he actually shared it with Steve? Oh. My. God. Why couldn’t he remember any of it? Damn his human body that needed rest!

Steve shrugged. “It wasn’t any hardship. At least there was a bed and you didn’t move around much. I’m used to sleeping in the mud, cramped with a dozen stinking men, after marching from gruelling battle, uphill both ways in the rain.”

Tony gaped at him, blinking rapidly several times before he spotted the small smile tugging at Steve’s lips.

Tony laughed, the tense moment effectively broken with Steve’s joke. “You are a menace, Steve. Tell me about the bad old days and how hard you old men had to do it some other time. I’m late and Nat is going to skin me.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you about how we had to cook our meat over lava pits while holding them with our bare hands later, then,” Steve said, not letting go of Tony’s elbow yet. “After we have a talk about last night.”

“Um, talk?” Tony said, voice a little higher pitched than usual.

“Yeah, talk. I hear it’s a thing you modern fellas do these days,” Steve said with a smile.

What could they possibly have to talk about regarding _last night_? Tony desperately wanted to ask, but at the same time, he desperately didn’t want to know. Did he hump Steve in his sleep? Did he moan out Steve’s name? He couldn’t help himself, he had a normal hormonal body! And it was _Steve_. Probably the entire campus would hump Steve in their sleep if given the opportunity. Okay, that came out wrong.

Fortunately, his desperation not to have the talk lined up with a legitimate reason not to hang around for said talk.

“Okay, let’s talk. Maybe later, I have to go now. We’re thinking of going after Ronan tonight. I think we’re ready,” Tony babbled, pulling out of Steve’s hold and opening the door.

Steve clapped a hand on Tony’s shoulder, seemingly to linger there. “Take care, Tony. Let me know if you need any back up.”

Tony turned around and pointed at him with finger guns and the best cocky grin he could summon. “We’ve got it, Steve. You guys focus on clearing the campus of the chitauri. We’re going to take down Ronan and he’s not going to threaten the academy again.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve got this. We’ve all got this,” Steve said with what sounded like absolute sincerity this time and a big grin.

Tony left the room feeling surprisingly buoyant. Steve’s confidence in him was heady, and Tony went off with a light heart to prepare for the showdown.

# # # # # #

It was a tiring and nightmarish battle. Ronan and the chitauri were strong, and they seemed to be constantly getting up no matter how many times they were put down to the ground. Tony had on his Intergalactic Iron Man suit, with an installed power disruptor to break Ronan’ forcefield. The suit was also incredibly juiced up to dole out heavy hits. Unfortunately, the trade-off was that he had to leave the suit with little defence capabilities and it was slow to dodge attacks. Tony was feeling very bruised all over and he had taken more hits than he could count.

It felt like it was taking days, a brutal fight that was dragged out interminably. The fact that Star-lord had a habit of interspacing his attacks with crappy dance moves just gave the whole battle a surreal feel. Strangely, the dance moves seemed to work, because Ronan would often pause in his attacks to stare at Peter. It was like Ronan was weak to disco or something.

Then, when it looked like they might not be able to hold it together any longer with their bodies aching and bruised, and Ronan getting up for another round… Then Jan buzzed into the air.

“You’re not going to take the academy from us!” she shouted. “And when we beat you, I’m going to take a super selfie with Kamala over the blown up pieces of your spaceship!”

It wasn’t the most coherent battle cry, but it was so very Jan, and it seemed to rejuvenate them. She shot the brightest and strongest stingers Tony had ever seen into Ronan’ eyes, tumbling backwards in the air to avoid how he lashed out wildly with his staff. Peter slid to his knees and shot Ronan with both guns, right beneath his defences. When Ronan fell back, arms out to try to regain his balance, Tony opened up with his arc reactor blast from his chest, a sustained attack of energy that hit Ronan square in the torso. Tony still had his blast open at full power when Gamora rocketed down from a high arc as she smashed Ronan to the ground with her giant sword.

They all held their breath, Gamora not moving the sword from where she held it over Ronan threateningly.

Ronan groaned, but he didn’t get up.

After a few breathless seconds, Jan transformed back into full size and barrelled straight into Tony.

“We did it! We stopped him!” she cheered.

Tony spun her around before setting her down in exhaustion. He flipped up his visors.

“Alien space invaders have nothing on us,” Tony said with a grin, before gesturing at Gamora and Peter. “Present company excluded.”

Peter shrugged. “We might not be space invaders any longer.”

Tony and Jan looked at him in confusion.

Gamora didn’t look away from Ronan, but she said, “You’re thinking of staying.”

Peter rubbed a hand through his sweat drenched hair. “It has crossed my mind.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ve got room for a couple more super awesome superheroes,” Tony said, reaching out a hand and giving Peter a fistbump. Behind them, a camera phone let out a fake shutter click as Jan took a selfie with them in the background.

“This is going to make such a great profile picture!” Jan said, which seemed like a fitting way to end this whole space invasion debacle.

Then Jan said, “Okay, let’s have a party to celebrate!”

Oh no.

Usually, Tony was all for parties. But he was exhausted. He just needed a power nap before one of Jan’s parties. It took a little bit of maneuvering and distraction – reminding Jan that she wanted to take a super selfie with Kamala using Ronan’ trussed up figure as a background – but he managed to make a clean getaway. He knew she would be on the phone to him once she got details of her party down, but maybe he could have a long hot shower and 30 minutes of sleep before that happened.

He landed on his tower’s observation deck, and let several of J.A.R.V.I.S.'s robotic arms pull off his Iron Man suit in pieces as he wandered downstairs to check on Pinkie before his shower. When the lift door opened, he found Pinkie right away. He also found Steve.

Steve was holding Pinkie in his arms, standing in the middle of the living room and facing the lifts like he was waiting for Tony to arrive. It was like having the world’s most attractive and muscular butler waiting for him with his pet dog. Alien. Whatever.

“You did great, Tony,” Steve said.

Tony felt warmed, and he tried to cover it up with his usual bravado. “Of course I did, no surprises there.”

Steve nodded. “That’s true.”

Tony eyed him suspiciously and asked, “Are you trolling me again?”

“No, I’m not,” Steve said with a sigh, before putting Pinkie down because it was starting to squirm. Pinkie rolled around on the ground like a demented dog before scooting away at surprising speed.

Tony was still a little suspicious, but he decided he was too tired to care. Then Steve was coming closer, and Tony realized that his soft blonde hair looked a little darker, damp from a fresh shower. Steve’s skin was clean and looked newly scrubbed. He was close enough for Tony to recognize the faint pinewood scent…

“That’s my soap,” Tony blurted.

Steve rubbed the back of his neck, cheeks a little red. “You said I could use your hot tub any time, and I had a quick soak when I was waiting for you. J.A.R.V.I.S. added some bubbles so I could clean off better.”

“Oh,” Tony thought, regretting that he hadn’t gotten back a few minutes earlier so he could have joined Steve in the tub. “You were waiting for me?”

He was close enough now that Tony could see the tiniest green fleck in Steve’s clear blue eyes.

Steve said, “We were going to talk, remember?”

Oh shit, Tony had totally forgotten. He didn’t want to hear this. He had been a mess last night, and Steve had to haul his ass around, give up half his bed. And who knew what Tony did in his sleep? That Steve suddenly needed to talk to him now had to be linked to last night, and it couldn’t be anything good.

Tony prevaricated, “Yeah, but you know, Jan wants to have a celebratory party, and you know how she gets. She’ll be pissed if we missed it, and I need to shower, maybe nap, so let’s just talk later?”

Steve frowned, which sent a pang through Tony, but he only said, “I guess you are tired-”

“Sir, I have the results of Project Capture the Flag,” J.A.R.V.I.S. suddenly piped up, which was unusual because he rarely interrupted Tony or his guests.

Then the words registered in Tony’s tired brain. He started waving his hand around frantically, “No, not-”

J.A.R.V.I.S. continued blithely with surprising speed, “The deadline for Project Capture the Flag is in an hour’s time but my calculations have completed and my conclusion is that for you to successfully have Captain Rogers to agree to go on a date with you, you must ask him out on said date. I have compiled a list of dating activities that are statistically most likely to appeal to both Sir and Captain Rogers, which should improve the chances that Captain Rogers will agree to said date.”

 _Fuck_.

Tony’s face was completely red, and he considered summoning his Iron Man suit and crashing out the window. He stared in horror as Steve’s mouth worked soundlessly. Well, stunned horror wasn’t too bad. At least Tony didn’t have to listen to his rejection and if he took an extended holiday to the beach for the next, oh, let’s say one year, maybe he could avoid the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ rejection conversation forever. Steve will let it go after a year, right?

Pivoting on one foot, Tony headed back to the lift quickly, only to be caught by the arm and spun back to face Steve. Tony couldn’t help staring up at Steve, because he never could stop himself from staring at that unbelievable jawline and wondering how it would feel to mouth along it to those adorable ears. Steve’s expression was unreadable, although he was staring at Tony intensely.

“You asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to plot a way for me to go on a date with you?” Steve said, sounding almost incredulous. “And you called it Project Capture the Flag.”

“I know, I know. Considering the results, I’m wondering about my decision-making skills as well,” Tony said.

“Your decision-making relies on unnecessarily convoluted logic, but the end result is usually effective,” Steve said.

Tony frowned, trying to parse that. “I’m sorry, but that sounds almost…”

He trailed off, unsure how to continue that sentence without making a bigger fool of himself than he already had done.

“You know, you’re not making full use of J.A.R.V.I.S.’s hard work here,” Steve said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Tony felt a rush of dizzying relief, because that smile, combined with those words, it could only mean one thing, right? Tony was a genius, he knew these things. Usually. Sometimes.

J.A.R.V.I.S. piped up unhelpfully, “I’m glad that someone appreciates my hard work, Captain Rogers.”

“And your timing too,” Steve said wryly.

“I’m an Artificial Intelligence. My timing is always impeccable.”

Tony cut in, “You are a monster, J.A.R.V.I.S. and I’m handing you over to Pym when I’m done here.”

“If you say so, Sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said in the most neutral tone that somehow managed to sound insolent.

Steve had both hands on Tony’s forearms now, and was drawing him nearer. His eyes were bright and his cheeks were a little flushed as well.

“You haven’t completed Project Capture the Flag yet,” Steve said.

Tony was a little breathless when he said, “How do you suggest I complete it? I’m open to feedback here. A lot of feedback. Repeated feedback.”

Steve was smiling, looking a little giddy too. “Since J.A.R.V.I.S. put so much work into it, I think you should use his conclusion. Ask me.”

Tony put a hand on the back of Steve’s neck, wondering if he was moving too fast, but found himself drawn in at the dizzying realization that maybe he could do this, maybe this was an option available to him. It was something he had wanted ever since he exchanged the first snippy comment with Steve and got a wide-eyed earnest response disguising a metric tonne of snark from the supposedly perfect and law-abiding Captain America. But it was never something he really expected to get. Not even when he asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to start the project, maybe especially when he asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to work on the project. His crush had always seemed so hopeless.

But Steve didn’t pull away. He didn’t ask Tony to slow down. His eyes softened as they drew closer together, lips parting, like an uncontrollable response, like an inevitable force of physics at work.

“Okay, just so you know, this is me asking,” Tony whispered, breath a bare touch against Steve’s lips.

Steve’s hands drew around Tony’s back and pulled him in. That was answer enough for Tony, so he pressed their lips together.

# # # # # #

Later, they curled around each other like two cogs that were cast from different moulds, forged for different purposes, but unexpectedly joined together perfectly. Tony’s head was snug against Steve’s shoulder, breathing deeply against his neck while Steve ran his hand through Tony’s messy hair. Steve’s phone, tossed aside with Tony’s earlier, vibrated silently against the table. Steve ignored it again. The world outside could wait one night. They hadn’t done anything together, too tired to get up to anything energetic beyond some exploratory kisses and breathless murmurs. Steve strayed from Tony’s hair to trace his ear, the whirls and dips, eliciting a quiet mumble from Tony before he subsided into his drowse again.

“Hey, J.A.R.V.I.S.,” Steve said in an undertone.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?” J.A.R.V.I.S. responded in equal careful quiet, barely audible to Steve’s super senses.

“It was a good plan,” Steve said. “Consider the flag captured.”

“I’ll mark it down as a successfully executed project then. I’m sure Sir will agree.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, I think he will. Thanks, J.A.R.V.I.S.”

He didn’t have to elaborate on the gratitude.

“You’re most welcome, Captain,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said before dimming the lights.

# # # # # #

THE END

And they lived happily ever after with their pet alien slug.

**Author's Note:**

> Who's loving the Halloween event on this game? I'm pretty sure Cap Wolf is within my grasp, but Cardboard Man! So hard to get! T_T
> 
> Why is naming fics so hard? I'm so embarrassed...


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